That one time I had a decent day at work...until I got home (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES)

I'll keep this short...and not so sweet.

Sometimes bad things happen to good people. I like to think I'm 'good people'.

Today I worked with a manager all day, which is usually super stressful for me, but it went pretty well. People were saying yes, and every sales rep loves when those rare days occur.

Thinks were good until I got home. 

I'll write what happened first, and let the pictures do the talking after. If I was a lesser person, I'd just post the pictures, move on, and pretend to learn from this experience. 

I just can't stand to revisit the pictures right now.

I got home.

I let the dog out of the garage.

We frolicked to the front door.

The dog starts to bark.

I look down.

SNAKE.

In the grass. Scary, but ok.

It starts to move toward the front door.

Will I get trapped outside in the humidity with mosquitoes in my business casual?

Answer: NO.

I set down my messenger bag.

(yes I carry a messenger bag and not a purse, don't judge).

Snake changes direction, shifts course, moves toward me.

I jump on the grass.

Snake isn't heading for me, he's heading for my messenger bag (yah yah I know, grow up get a big girl bag, whatever).

I grab a rock.

First throw, MISS.

Grab another rock. Dog is hysterical. Jumping around, barking, pretending to do the dirty work. NO, I do the dirty work. Thanks dog.

Grab another rock. Throw. Miss. Repeat. Grab. Throw. Miss. Repeat.

Snake is at my bag, almost at my feet. 

STRIKE! HIT! SNAKE DOWN!

But no, snake not down. Snake has a hole in its body and is hissing at me and bleeding.

I feel suddenly very very bad for hurting snake. 

"I'm sorry Snake."

Snake hisses.

I decide it's inhumane to let Snake lay there with a hole in it's belly. Obviously there are no snake ambulances to take Snake to the hospital to perform emergency belly surgery.

It's now when I must be a adult. Finish Snake off.

I'm horrified. 

Grab rock. Throw. Miss. Yell at dog. "I got this!".

I don't got this.

Check watch. Husband will be home in....2 hours. 

Grab rock. Throw. Miss. Repeat.

Think about going to the neighbor's house for help.

Remember neighbor is scared of snakes.

Grab rock. Throw. HIT!

HIT IN THE HEAD!

Guilt rises up, snake slithers down to the rocks next to my bestie...Perennial (see post titled 'Super Suspenseful Post') 

Snake is dead, sorta, I think. 

Dog is besides herself jumping up and down, howling, pretending like she saved the day.

No dog, I did.

 Why do I feel so bad about it? It was either me, or Snake, or snake in me bag.

Tis' the circle of life I suppose. 

Unless this happens again. In which case, I'm grabbing dog and we're going to Main Street to grab many a beer at the country bar until Husband shows up to 'circle of life' this snake situation.

Yep, Country life. Summer Edition. Here we go.

Ok, I just cannot include the picture of my snake smashing. This image is probably graphic enough for most of you.